First Encounter

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Bubgozz said we was going so we went. All jamm’d in buncha space boxes so tight a greenskin could not pick a fight proper. When Gigdig complained about it, Bubgozz smash’d Gigdig’s head clean off with one of his mech-claws so there was only a few more curses and a few more smashin’. The drop was long and I was itchy, but the landin’ was fun at least. Splash, bang, boom and right into a lava pit. Bubgozz said it was the planet’s welcome to greenskins: a big wound just askin’ to be smashed into again.

After some boys burn’d, after more boys scream’d, after plenty of boys dead and after the other boys couldn’t eat another bite, we march’d on. A few grots in Kans, a Deff Dread to boot them straight, a few meks to weld bits back on them, us Loota boys to strap on what the meks missed and Bubgozz to show the shortest way to smash some faces. Big sun close in the sky, funny ground that ate a boy from time to time and made that squig smell, we was all looking forward to see what Bubgozz had in mind, and then we saw.

We saw them before they could see us. We wanted some good smasha so we told them where we was with our deffgunz. They answered with some big dakka from Deff walka that shot the leg off Xenobill’s Dread. We wanted that dakka so we all shot at it, with mouths watering. It wasn’t Orky at all because it leaked red stuff and black stuff and fell down with just a few dozen holes in it. While that was happenin’ the Shiny humiez where shootin’ at our Kans but da holez just made them look betta! Dodgin’ between all that dakka da Mekaniacs got their claws on some parts from da humi Walka and glued them on Xenobill’s Dread. It would need blue paint later but at least it could walk again and go squig some Shiny menz heads.

Da Funny Colorz humi started to scream but didn’t start to run like humiez do. Instead, more funny colorz came out of nowhere and made him bigga (but still like a small ork). Us Lootaz like big targets so we fired our deffgunz at it. Clumzy Shiniez fell in front of him and took the dakka instead. Bubgozz said: “Why did the Shiny humi fall? Because it was too tired of bullets!” We all laughed, raged and screamed for more. That’s when Bubgozz and the Kans got in smashin’ distance. Clamp and smash and stomp, they was hittin’ the Shiniez alright but they was not going down. I wanted to be Bubgozz right then so I could chop those Shiniez the way he was. I stopped wanting to be Bubgozz when Funny Colorz humi made warp blackness appear and threw him in it along with 2 Kans and one other Kan’s rippa claw. It didn’t miss it for long because it was smashed by a Shiny humi’s hammer, and I heard the grot’s pathetic scream as me and da other Lootaz charged da Shiniez.
Xenobill got there just before we did and started clawing away. We surrounded da Shiniez and hack’d at them. Some of us got chopped by long blue choppas and a lot of us got smashed with the killy hammer. Xenobill got a little bit of both in the glob and stopped movin’ but we chop’d some more and before we knew it, all there was in front of us was red gooey stuff and lots of parts to salvage. I put Xenobill’s body on top of Funny Colorz as if they was two squigs going at it. He’s like to find it funny if Mork tells him what I’ve done and if not, then I’m still riding in his Dread. My BillDread now.

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